… all of the things we’ve planted were getting bigger. Tonight I made a big (healthy) Italian dinner with parsley and tomatoes from our own garden. We always seem to choose the quick fix, but even with Bailey screaming and hanging on my arm while I’m cooking, I still love to make a big complex meal.

We’ve been in an endless dinner loop, so I’ve been forcing myself to make only things we have never had before… or at least new variations on old favorites. Convincing Brian that there could be a healthy alternative to his beloved mini meatloaves was a painful 10 minutes I will never get back, but I won. I WON!

Brandon’s 6th birthday is coming up in 2 days. I’m sad and excited and amazed all at the same time. No more toddler sizes. No more “not really” school and pretending he’s still my baby. In fact, I’m positive that pretty soon he is going to tell me I can’t call him baby anymore. That’s gonna suck.

Brandon is having, by far, the longest birthday ever. Even longer than Brian’s birthdays, which tend to drag on for at least the entire month of April. In the name of Brandon’s birthday we finally checked out the zoo in Madison on Sunday and this weekend we’re taking Brandon and two friends to swim at the indoor waterpark in Rockford (the entire extended family has decided to tag along). In 2 weeks, when Uncle Brad and Aunt Tabitha get back from their trip, we’ll have yet another family party. No, he doesn’t get a big exciting kid party with piles of presents, but I think there’s a chance he will survive anyway.

We also bought our first family game console — a Wii (which I resisted for ages). I had to agree to something and it was *not* going to be another machine that requires no input other than pressing buttons — we get enough of that around here already. And I’m not going to give in to the whole, “buuuttttt…. Chris has more consoles than I doooooooo.” (Betcha thought Brandon said that… It’s more pathetic when you know it was my 37 year old husband).

It is now 2:15am and Bailey is still awake after her unfortunate late nap. When Little Bear is over, we are going to desperation mode and locking ourselves in the bedroom.

Signed,

The Bedtime Enforcer

It’s been a while. I feel like we’ve done too much for me to include it all here. We took a trip down to Chicago and stayed right in the heart of downtown. The kids and I found an awesome indoor playground just like the one I dream to build here. I know that the economy in Janesville wouldn’t support the prices they are charging for admission in the city, but I think it’s absolutely essential for kids in Janesville to have something to do in the winter that is not McDonald’s and Chuck E. Cheese’s. Moms (and dads) need a place to relax, have some coffee, and connect with each other.

I’ve been thinking so much about where I want to go with my career in the future. It will only be a few short years before both kids are in school all day. I am feeling that I need a change. I need something real and tangible after so many years of selling a virtual product to virtual people for virtual money.

I’m still not sure if I have a true passion for photographing other people. I do know I am truly passionate about photographing my own children, but that isn’t really an indication of anything meaningful. Who doesn’t like pictures of their own kids? The line between momtographer and photographer is the question of whether I can work with and capture the emotions of children who are not my own.

A mom I just met (my new Mary Kay consultant, in fact) mentioned that she’d like me to practice on her kids, so I’m excited to give it a try. Expectations will be low, hopefully. I’m also excited to meet up with a local photographer who found me through my craigslist plea for free practice work.

I feel that I’ve had an AHA! metering moment and my exposure is really improving, especially now that I know all it takes to get Brandon to pose for me is $1 per finished shot. It’s a small price to pay for a willing model!

Here are a couple from our 2 more recent attempts. I have exhausted the areas around our yard, so I hope to beg a neighbor or two for access to their yards, too.

This post is already far too long and Brian should be walking in the door any minute! His flight was miraculously on time. First time for everything.

… and Brian has been home for 4 days this month. Tonight we had a really beautiful sunset (for here, you know) for the first time in ages and ages. I really wish I had a better location to grab these, but if I had loaded up the baby and driven aimlessly looking for a perfect Wisconsin farmhouse to use as a foreground, well.. you know… the sun would have already been gone.

These will have to do:

The kids took me to the park on Wednesday. I’m already allowing myself to get mildly depressed about the end of summer, but I finally have Bailey back on schedule, so we should at least be able to enjoy a little more of it now.

Oh, now I know why people use these borders… it makes even bad pictures look good. I fought them for a long time, but there really is a noticeable impact! Here are a couple from Wednesday. It was really bright, so there were only a few. The rest are in my flickr.

Bailey is so good at the rolley slide now. This time, I let go of my fears and let her go down all by herself. It was only after several days of practice, but I still hold my breath when she’s up there alone.

I’m posting this late because I was consumed with other things and I completely forgot. Brian got back into town late on the 3rd and I planned a big extravaganza for the 4th. You know… get in the car, go to the carnival, waste money, watch the fireworks. BIG, BIG plans for a Janesville Friday night.

Is it possible that the same carnival rides I remember from my childhood are still in service? I am still almost ashamed that I even let my child go anywhere near some of the rides. I came home and deleted almost every single picture I took because I was so mortified at the terrible condition of the rides. Brandon’s favorite ride consisted of single-seater helicopters that were all rusted through and missing their propellers.

In this one, I cropped out the sad little dangling wires where propellers were once attached so you can almost imagine this ride in its shiny, sparkly new glory.

I gave up on editing this one when I realized that putting your child into a roller coaster car that is apparently held together with tape is not something you want to showcase in the family album.

After exhausting every possibility for carnival enjoyment in about an hour, we left for dinner at the very same Olive Garden where Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson had dinner last week. Claim to fame!

Later, we hung out on the porch and watched the neighbors’ fireworks display, but we skipped the party (kids don’t mix with drunken adults setting things on fire near a swimming pool). I used it as an opportunity to grab some fireworks shots.

You can see those fireworks shots in my flickr set from the 4th.

… that is Bailey sitting next to me in her high chair eating black bean soup and rice. Sleep creep again. One bad night leads to a late morning and then another late night. I am almost positive that it would not kill this child to sleep on a regular schedule for more than a week at a time, but I can’t say with 100% certainty. More research is required.

We had a really nice day celebrating my birthday with the family in Antioch. I absolutely love showing up with prints and coming home almost empty-handed. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but it means something to me. It means something to have these people in my life who care about us enough that they want to fill their homes and their albums with images of my children and moments that I captured.

Tomorrow, I want to drive around aimlessly with my camera. Brian just walked in the door and he’ll be back in the air on Tuesday — I need just a bit of Sunday for me. I will make the best of this city, no matter how much I would rather be somewhere else. It’s not New Jersey and the people we love are here. I need to remind myself of that as often as possible.